I work with youth in foster care. Everyday I see two things happen: success and failure. I see youth make choices that help them improve their behaviors and make progress towards their goals. I see their self-esteem improve, I see them smile more and I see them start to believe that they CAN be successful! This is why I do what I do. I love to watch youth become better people. And I really enjoy seeing the foster parents believe that THEY influenced the youth. Getting foster parents to realize that every thing that they do influences the youth is a hard job. But getting them to realize they made a difference for the positive in a youth's life....that's even harder.
Then... there is the flip side. I watch youth make choices constantly that lead them down a hurtful and frustrating road. Then I watch as they say they don't understand why they can't be happy or why so much pain keeps coming into their lives. They just don't see that a lot of what is happening is because of the choices THEY are making. It is so frustrating to me. And it makes me feel so helpless. I wish that they would trust those of us that have been there. I MEAN COME ON.... I don't hide the fact that I was in foster care. I know what it's like to be bounced around, to have a crappy home life and a ton of abuse in my past. I also know what it's like to finally be "free" and standing at the road... listen to myself or listen to those around me who have been there. I was very lucky to choose to listen to the people who have been there. I wish others would do the same....
My family was a high-risk special needs placement foster home for over 10 years. During that time we saw a lot of triumph; and more than our fair share of heartbreak. It's so hard on kids, but I feel especially for the teenagers. It's a time that is difficult and tumultuous enough without the added stress that foster care situations bring. I feel good about the lives that we changed for the better - the kids who learned to trust again, to love, to laugh, to play. The safe bed and warm meals was only a small part of it though. I still wonder about so many foster kids we lived with at one time or another - how they're doing, whether they have survived the experience in good health, or even thrived. I wish them all the best. It's hard, feeling like I have "siblings" all over the place that I will never fully know, and never have the chance to tell them how much I really cared, and even loved them.
ReplyDelete@psucarrierae: I had no idea you had commented here or I would have responded sooner!
ReplyDeleteI love your comment. Thank you so much. Being a high-needs foster home is not easy. I have so much love and compassion for those families who are willing to open their door for foster youth. Being a former foster child myself, I understand how it is to have "siblings" in the community and not be able to tell them how I feel. On the other hand, I almost wonder if it is better that way?
@Michele: yes, I hope the message got across too!